Personal Anonymity on this site

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Comment by Vitaly Kolesnik on May 25, 2009 at 21:34

Phil, thanks for useful advices, I am living in a small town right now ;)

Comment by Vitaly Kolesnik on May 25, 2009 at 21:33

The problem, I think, is even broader, it lies in what Martin Haidegger has called "Das Man". We never dare to speak publicly about a lot of sensible personal things because they will be easily (and almost surely) misunderstood, however great, interesting and rewarding they are by themselves (if we don't write memoirs of course). It's not this site's problem, it's a publicity problem.

Comment by Melodie Tyrer on May 22, 2009 at 16:25

I wonder whether fear might be a factor in Peter's question. I suspect that making an anonymous comment is preferred if *there's a reluctance to own the comment (it's made to provoke response), or *concern that unfriendly (or misguided, or even very vulnerable) individuals or groups may misinterpret what is put out and go to the trouble of responding.
Write whatever you wish Peter - it will be read, no doubt, but whether it will provoke satisfaction of your greatest satisfaction and dread is unknown until it is done.

With a differently shaped brim on my hat, perhaps detailing specific situations are not necessary at the outset as the concept/feeling that's raised in the mind/heart of the person reading will be what elicits that allows some pertinent (to them) response. Then we might travel from the general to the specific so there is a context for any specific situation (be it contentious, intimate or other).

To some degree I agree with you Phil; building relationships is rewarding, and yes, unknown posters might be considered in a negative way, yet surely it is content that provides a benefit. I don't believe writing something constructive or helpful must considered more important because of who has authored it.

Comment by Phil Bachmann on May 22, 2009 at 4:18

Yes you could change your name but:
- You get no personal credit for writing something helpful or constructive.
- You will be taken less seriously because anonymous posters are generally regarded as flippant and rude.
- There will be less opportunity to build relationships.

Comment by Daniel Parrish on May 21, 2009 at 12:16

Could you not just change your name?

Comment by Phil Bachmann on May 21, 2009 at 10:33

Thanks Kim,

I agree it would be good to hear more from experienced trainers like Martin and Patricia. Probably unlikely, however, since this system doesn't inform them that they are being talked about, and they are probably not daily visitors (so won't see this post in the Latest Activity).

Peter, re-reading your post I I don't feel that I answered it as well as I could have. Living in a small country town one becomes well practised in dealing with the question of what to say about whom. Some guidelines that have emerged from years of practice:
- Always assume that the person you're talking to knows the person you're talking about.
- Try to say something positive about people.
- If you can't say something positive, try to make it neutral.
- If you have to make it negative (to illustrate a point)
- 1. Try to depict it as an example of isolated behaviour, do not use it as an example to smear the whole person.
- 2. Try to keep the subject anonymous by stripping away all unnecessary information.
- 3. Before talking about other peoples' shortcomings, throw in a relevant self-deprecating comment about yourself.
- 4. Attack the person your talking to at least as much as the one you're talking about. eg. This fellow's a lazy bugger, not as lazy as you, but still pretty lazy.

Comment by Phil Bachmann on May 20, 2009 at 21:58

I think this issue is more important than first appears.

People who have an independent income can say what they like, but everyone else must be thinking at some point: "What will a future employer think about me saying this..."

Take for example the question of how education should be reformed. Edward de Bono in his latest podcast said "..education today is little more than baby-sitting and time-filling."

Contrast this with a post by someone currently employed as an educator:

Education Reform

... Any school principal or teacher in Australia looking up her name on the internet would see by that post that she has exactly the right attitude on these things, and is perfectly suited to a role in education. Had she mimicked de Bono, she would be certainly asked to explain what she meant by "baby sitting and time-filling", if she ever got to an interview.

Now I've never met Pat and I'm sure she's a lovely person but clearly she's limited her contributions to this site in a way that maximises her standing amongst people who can help her career, and not done much else.

Of course that is no reflection on her as a person - I believe a woman should be measured by her husband's success, and her husband seems like a really good fellow:

Martin Buoncristiani

But returning to your question, I think people should be frank and not worry too much about what other people think. People are much more interesting when they talk specifically about their own circumstances than when they talk about abstracts.

Life is too short.