Whose fault?

Yesterday something went wrong and a young person told me it was my fault.

This got me thinking about the airplane crash investigator who said that when a plane goes down there is always more than one reason.  That is, that there is more than one person at fault.

I believe that in France when there is a traffic accident the drivers of both vehicles may end up in court:  ie. each party may be at fault.

I am interested in hearing from people as to what language they use when things go wrong...

"This is your fault."

"If you hadn't done this then there wouldn't have been a problem"

"This is partly your fault."

"Here is what I can do to avoid the problem, what can you do?"

Language is really deficient here.  It is so easy to say "Your fault" and it's such a mouthful to say:

"There are various contributory factors leading to this situation which we should examine.  It may turn out that there are many ways individuals could behave differently to mitigate the possibility of recurrence - we should explore these.  , Consideration should also be given to other consequences that might result from these changes - eg. avoiding the danger of bike riding by always travelling by car might mean less excercise and less fun etc.  While the approach should be flexible it should not ignore that fact that there are real problems that need to be addressed, and should not provide an excuse for one party to always push change onto others."