my nephew

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Comment by david paul caruana on October 29, 2010 at 22:07

hes not hyper at all any more,thats why i think hes been better at school because he is more attentive.As for my brother i can work on him to understand it more but i do not want to teach the boy at all as i just think as i think and i do not want to direct him incrrectly.

Comment by Franis on October 29, 2010 at 21:56

If the child is doing OK in school, he's not clinically 'hyperactive.'

Comment by Franis on October 29, 2010 at 21:53

Many children who are "having trouble in school" are later found to have vision or hearing problems which they or their parents did not know was affecting their abilities. Kids do not know what pain is - or how pain would affect their behavior. Pain is really just another sensation. So perhaps you took away headaches that were influencing your nephew's behavior that your nephew only knew was pain when it went away. Also, in some cultures, (especially British) many children are starved for physical contact once they get past being toddlers.

The other factor is the father expecting the reason for the kid's behavior to always be pushing the limits of rules. This is an interpretation of motivation that you can see is not true in certain instances - although it may be true at other times. Perhaps asking the father, (with admiration of what a hard job it is) how the dad senses the difference between his son's intentional misbehavior, inexact or unique language context use (another way to explain lateral thinking) and childlike exuberance? It's a rare parent who would want to punish creativity out of their child. Getting a child to "behave" without "breaking their spirit" is an ongoing challenge.

Comment by david paul caruana on October 29, 2010 at 21:21

hi raymund,he's always been way hyperactive and a right little brat.About 18months ago i could see something in his head and i gave him a head massage.Dont ask me how i done it apart from the fact i could feel where his problems.Anyway he loved it but it did not have much if any change in his behaviour pattern.I did not see him for 6months but the next time i did he was acting like a little brat again but this time i noticed he had buzzing in his head.I could see the exact spot so again i rubbed and massaged his head,well this time i felt everything leave him and he jumped back and looked at me as if to beg me to order him to do something.Well i did,i told he had to be good and be good all the time.After a brief hesitation he jumped and said i will,i will and i think he has been pretty much since.Well it was another 6 months later when i saw him again and when i did he was just a good little boy.In speaking to his father though he wanted something but said it laterally.His father yelled at because he thought he was taking the mick but i noticed straight away that it was just something simple he wanted.It just reminded me of what used to happen to me as a boy and so if he is laterally minded he does need to taught by somebody proper even though i cant see the family affording it.Now this head massage business is something else i now nothing about,i probably should not of done it, it was just instincts,as i no nothing about medical procedures.All his grades are up and hes doing a lot better at everything,i cannot say for sure if the massages done anything to him as he could of improved just through his age 5-7.Well as long as hes ok is the main thing and i'll keep an eye on him, thanks dave

Comment by Raymund Kwok on October 29, 2010 at 16:38

David, I agree with Dennis and Avril that six thinking hats will help the kid to better organize the ideas. Another potential issue may be "Hyperactive". This may need the help from psychologists.

Comment by Franis on October 28, 2010 at 20:53

In particular, Raymund is working on an application for the iphone to help kids with Six Thinking Hats - he's documenting his progress. You can read about it under GROUPS "creative team". He's got more comments on the process of educating his kids elsewhere too...can't remember at the moment...but sure you can find it if you go to his page. The two of you might like to become friends and talk about your experiences too.

Comment by Franis on October 28, 2010 at 20:46

You might look at what Raymund Kwok has to say about educating his kids in Six Thinking Hats. He didn't know anything about it at first either.

Comment by david paul caruana on October 27, 2010 at 22:31

hi dennis,the boy is doing exactly what i was doing at his age but i never understood anything until i was 40.im 42 now and i do not want him growing with people thinking hes a weirdo as with what happened to me.people tell me that i do everything laterally and most of the time i do not know i do it and i've never read any books on it.i'll just make sure his school knows as i am in no position to teach him anything,thanks

Comment by david paul caruana on October 27, 2010 at 15:16

Thanks franis,jamie has been acting for the last year and is doing well apparently.I do not see him much so i do not really know if he actual has any real talent,ijust noticed when he asked or wanted something he does it laterally.Ihave told his father but he does not really understand it,i should see the boy on the weekend and i'll try some games on him,thanks dave

Comment by Franis on October 27, 2010 at 9:26

Many kids display this ability early - only to have it squished soundly. Many parents are shocked when their child acts in unexpected ways they did not think to prohibit. Good that you recognize the talent!

You can at least tell the kid about his talent. Often a talent is taken for granted by the person who has it. At least the child will know how his strategy and original thinking is wise beyond his years. The child will know why his best ideas are shocking, at least. Perhaps during very traditional games such as chess, you can prove the advantage of the child's strategic thinking. Use PO as a game when you ask the kid for his ideas. It is easy to make a de Bono "L-Game" out of some pieces of cardboard and play it together. Many other games are fun and show obvious ability.

I had a young man of five who was the son of someone sharing my house - the child was a brilliant lateral thinker. There were many instances where I could tell him how he was using his creative thinking ability to solve a problem. Most impressive to him was when I would ask his advice and use his suggestions.

There are many situations where the child can make the decision if you look for these opportunities. Choose situations when it makes little difference how or when something is done. Look for them.

Perhaps inform the parents that you recognize that the child has the valuable indicators of a being a creative person who is able to "think outside the box." Many British make room for this lateral thinking talent in their humor. Perhaps you could suggest the child be allowed to attend acting lessons to develop and train this notable and unusual talent? Perhaps you could locate this class and pay for it as a present to the child?

There are also thinking skill lessons available for purchase at http://www.cortthinking.com for parents. You could get this course for your nephew - and do it with his parents. Of course, you'd have to ask them about it first to get their participation. Advancing the child's ability academically by formally studying thinking skills might solve the problem of his parents not being able to recognize the value of the child's ability.

Plus you would get to study CorT thinking skills with the family too.