Two cows

There is a web site on the internet where people can contribute to a list of things you would do if you had two cows and you were a capitalist, or a socialist, or New Zealander etc.

For example:

ANARCHISM: You have two cows. The cows decide you have no right to do anything with their milk and leave to form their own society.
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

While the above examples from the web site in question are not too bad, there are many from that web site which are not too good. I think creative people here might be able to do better.

So for starters I am offering two entries...

A SOCIALIST WITH TWO COWS:
Upon finding that one cow produces less milk than the other, you milk the more productive cow longer and harder to make up the shortfall.

AN AUSTRALIAN WITH TWO COWS:
You get drunk and lose your watch. Next morning you confront the cows: "Which one of you smart bastards stole my bloody watch?"

Tags: jokes

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Kim Jones on January 17, 2010 at 10:05am: CARDINAL GEORGE PELL WITH TWO COWS:

The would-be Pontiff discovers a pile of smelly cow turds at the entrance to Saint Mary's Cathedral. He rushes around to the grassed area at the back and discovers two cows engrossed in a book each.

Inspecting the book of the first he is aghast to see the title:

"The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins

Inspecting the second cow's reading matter he begins to fulminate in a state of near apoplexy when he discovers the title:

"God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything" by Christopher Hitchens; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Phil Bachmann on January 18, 2010 at 8:24am: Now now, Kim,

I thought that the scientist sheila you showed on this forum some months ago explained that religion could be neither proved nor disproved, so we shouldn't get too dogmatic about it either way.

Or as Edward de Bono once said when asked during a TV interview about whether God exists... "Oh, maybe, maybe."

But I appreciate your effort in posting a response, and also the email link you sent me (I will make a donation when my next PayPal payment comes in).; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Kim Jones on January 18, 2010 at 10:29am: Which TV interview did he say that on? Do you have a clip of it?

Carolyn Porco would not have been dogmatic about the two cows, no. She may have preferred two pigs...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Phil Bachmann on January 18, 2010 at 10:38am: It was ACA or some such.

Long time ago, no clip.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by William Jack Jordan on February 15, 2010 at 12:43am: I would trade one cow for a bull, that way I could breed them and have more cows.

Maybe I read that in one of Ed's books. Maybe its already on the website, though I didn't peek.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Phil Bachmann on February 15, 2010 at 1:49am: William,

I like your answer.

William Jack Jordan said:
I would trade one cow for a bull, that way I could breed them and have more cows.

Maybe I read that in one of Ed's books. Maybe its already on the website, though I didn't peek.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by William Jack Jordan on February 15, 2010 at 4:25am: There was a story I heard (from about 1900 i think) in which Russians traded a pair of minks for something valuable (i forget). It was a trick. The minks were both female so that they couldn't breed.

Phil Bachmann said:
William,

I like your answer.

William Jack Jordan said:
I would trade one cow for a bull, that way I could breed them and have more cows.

Maybe I read that in one of Ed's books. Maybe its already on the website, though I didn't peek.; ▶ Reply to This