It seems to be dying a slow death these days but we used to start off every letter or note or communication to someone with

"Dear" So-and-So

These days it seems very staid and almost silly to address somebody over the Net - someone you have never met in the flesh and are probably never likely to as

"Dear Mary Bucket," with that annoying little comma following the name followed by a carriage return....

It makes more sense to just start writing without even mentioning the person's name. This would mean that you consider them in the room with you already and there is no need to remind each other of each other's names. This would be the most relaxed way of addressing someone: by not addressing them.

You could then have some new options. You could then ramp up the relationship by going

"Mary"

Which kind of suggests that you the writer believe you are sending this email to someone called Mary. If someone called Fred received this email, this might suggest that Fred is Mary's husband or boyfriend, or that someone called Fred had stolen Mary's computer and was now rummaging through her email.

The next option would allow even greater intimacy:

"Dear Mary"

Now the word "Dear" for once can mean what it really does mean - that you hold someone as dear to you. This should be an indication of warm feelings toward the person whose name follows.
We no longer have to put up with the annoying false sentiment of your worst enemy addressing you as "dear"

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Personally it doesn't bother me.

If its someone I know, I usually write "Hi Mary" etc.

Wasn't there a TV show with a Bucket woman in it?

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Sure. Except I find some people tediously formulaic about these things. I like words to mean what they say. Why is it that line managers, Heads of Department and people who have authority generally over others tend to go "Dear So-and-So" - OK, so it may not always be condescending; it could be worse: they might never have thought about it before and are unlikely ever to...

I'm sure some will take that as a sweeping statement - which it is!



I get fascinated by the usual things, Jack. The dreary things. Some like to gallop after the unusual.

The trouble with the unusual is that everyone notices it, I find.

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Mary Bucket of Blainey? Saint Mary of Spondoolicles?

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Kim Jones said:
Mary Bucket of Blainey? Saint Mary of Spondoolicles?

There was a show called "Keeping up appearances"
Bucket was pronounced bouquet
There were sisters all named after flowers:
Hyacinth, Rose etc

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